The response to Taylor Swift’s highly-anticipated twelfth studio album Lifetime of a Showgirl was as anticipated — streaming information shattered, Billboard charts topped and followers clamoring for extra within the midst of a brand new music video, restricted version releases and an upcoming Eras Tour documentary. (The satan works exhausting, however Swift’s advertising and marketing group works more durable.)
Whereas the Swiftie fervor has hit a predictable fever pitch within the wake of her engagement to Kansas Metropolis Chiefs tight finish Travis Kelce, so too has the criticism relating to arguably probably the most sexual Swift music so far: “Wooden.”
The catchy tune carries sufficient of a playful pop beat so that you can virtually overlook that Swift is clearly singing about her fiancé’s, uh, reproductive appendage. The ninth monitor on the album — what some Swifties say is an intentional ode to the size of Kelce’s manhood — is about love, sure, but in addition carnal need.
“He ah-matized me and openеd my eyes / Redwood tree, it ain’t exhausting to see / His lovе was the important thing that opened my thighs,” Swift sings again and again. “Women, I don’t must catch the bouquet / To know a tough rock is on the way in which.”
In a rustic that calls for ladies seem sexual however by no means personal their sexuality outright; to stick to unrealistic magnificence expectations for the sake of the male gaze whereas suppressing their very own wishes, Swift singing as a 35-year-old girl who enjoys getting d***ed down by her fiancé is solely put: unacceptable.
“Wooden” and comparable tracks impressed by her romance have been described as “vulgar,” with one conservative outlet arguing that Swift’s “specific” lyrics carry “the uninteresting thud of a door slamming on girlhood” (once more, Swift is 35 years outdated). Barstool Sports activities founder Dave Portnoy, who admitted through Instagram that he “actually appreciated the music ‘Wooden’ the primary couple occasions I listened to it,” instructed followers he may not abdomen the tune as soon as he realized it’s not-so-underlying content material.
“No. No. I’m not bobbing and weaving and jamming to a music about Travis’ d***,” he proclaimed, although one can’t assist however surprise what number of songs about ladies’s physique components Portnoy has “bobbed and weaved” to fortunately.
From the shock and disgust to the criticism and outright condemnation, the response to a feminine artist’s music rising and evolving together with her is a stark reminder that even within the 12 months of our lord 2025, the world stays fearful of a lady who will not be afraid to personal her sexual energy.
Sadly, this can be a story as outdated as sexism itself. Within the late 90s and early aughts, it was Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore and Jessica Simpson — all initially packaged as “harmless” college women with a touch of unhealthy, “will she, received’t she?” power.
For Spears, it was pigtails and a porn-inspired Catholic college women outfit whereas she was concurrently marketed as a virgin. When she owned her personal sexuality, with songs like “Overprotected” and her public relationships with Justin Timberlake and Kevin Federline, she was deemed too problematic, too sexual, regardless of how sexualized she was as a teen.
Then there’s Aguilera — a “genie in a bottle” who, as soon as launched, prompted relentless outrage. With a couple of “soiled” lyrics and a pair of assless chaps, Aguilera grew to become the ire of a society nonetheless very a lot steeped in purity tradition. She was instructed she wanted “to be spanked just like the naughty lady she is” by MTV, and that she seemed like she got here from an “intergalactic hooker conference” by TIME Journal.
The message, then and nonetheless, to ladies the world over is obvious — be eternally fascinating however by no means expertise need ourselves. Provoke ardour in others, however by no means dive into your personal so that you could be achieve a greater understanding of your self and create your personal sexual experiences which can be value celebrating.
Adhere to the pervasive Madonna-whore advanced: make straight males wish to have intercourse with you, however by no means have intercourse your self lest you be labeled “vulgar,” “specific” or a “slut.”
Look, am I a giant fan of Swift’s “Wooden”? I can’t say that I’m. On the hazard of angering an untold variety of Swifties throughout the globe, the lyrics are arguably cringy and — to a 38-year-old girl with loads of sexual expertise — considerably juvenile, regardless of what the pearl-clutchers amongst us may say.
However maybe even the cringe-worthy, painfully apparent innuendos are a part of the purpose. Who amongst us hasn’t been so comfortable to get our backs proverbially damaged by our other halves that we brag to our girlfriends in ways in which, once we come to our non-orgasm fueled senses, appear considerably ridiculous? Love, sexuality, intercourse and need — it’s all messy and oftentimes cringe-worthy.
So whereas the “Redwood” and “exhausting rock” references evoke quite a lot of painful giggles, I for one am trying ahead to the day when a grown girl, nearing 40, can sing about having pleasant, consensual intercourse in no matter manner she chooses with out being denigrated by those that want she’d keep perpetually prepubescent.
If I’ve to decide on between a society that wishes to eternally infantilize ladies whereas concurrently sexualizing them, or a few lame lyrics a few man’s praise-worthy willy, convey on the double entendres, one catchy tune at a time.
