Elle Ward, a 28-year-old mother from Orpington, appeared outgoing and confident on the surface. Internally, however, she grappled with severe self-doubt and crumbling mental health.
Teenage Struggles and Adult Pressures
Elle battled self-harm, depression, and low self-esteem during her teenage years, often clashing with her parents. In her late twenties, single parenthood and a demanding teaching job intensified her despair.
‘On the drive to work, I would silently beg someone to crash into my car so I wouldn’t have to do it myself,’ Elle shares.
Crisis Point and Suicide Attempt
In October 2024, exhaustion from work and heartbreak from a breakup pushed Elle to a breaking point. She engaged in risky behaviors, including recreational drugs on weekends, straining family ties.
‘I was going off the rails… I just felt – I can’t do this anymore,’ she recalls.
Elle secretly said goodbye to loved ones, taking her eight-year-old son to the zoo, arcade, and London, while visiting grandparents and dining with parents. Feeling at peace, she attempted to end her life. A neighbor’s timely visit led to her rushed admission to A&E, followed by transfer to a psychiatric ward in Sidcup.
Initial Terror in the Psychiatric Ward
Arriving at dawn, Elle encountered a chaotic communal area. Petrified and withdrawn, she spent days in bed on a plastic mattress, refusing food or showers.
‘I refused to talk to anyone and just lay staring at the ceiling. I might as well have been dead,’ she admits.
A startling incident involved another patient hiding in her room, heightening her fear. Over time, connections formed with patients and staff who understood her struggles.
‘For the first time, I was around people that understood. I didn’t have to hide anymore,’ Elle reflects. She highlights the kindness of a fellow patient despite initial judgments.
Gaps in Professional Care
Despite positives, Elle faced limited support: only two psychiatrist visits in six weeks, no individual therapy, frequent activity cancellations due to staff shortages, and unhelpful group sessions.
Discharged near Christmas to reunite with her son, suicidal thoughts resurfaced at home. Promised home treatment within 48 hours proved ineffective—a brief, box-ticking encounter. Community mental health follow-up never materialized for months.
Her mother repeatedly contacted GP, hospital, and teams, only to face endless referrals. A psychiatrist appointment letter arrived for May, but Elle doubted she could wait.
‘I cried and told my mum – I don’t think I can last that long,’ she remembers. Private care was unaffordable.
Isolation deepened: sleepless nights, agoraphobia, family tension. Further suicide attempts followed, but Elle avoided hospital, seeing no benefit.
Path to Recovery and Advocacy
In August, a referral to an exceptional NHS psychologist marked a turning point. ‘She follows me up, books appointments, and calls weekly… treats me like a human being,’ Elle says.
Now stable, she shares her story online, authored a book, and founded What About Now charity. Its flagship Chatty Corner partners with cafés in Bromley and Bexley, offering drop-in spaces for companionship, advice, and support—free and inclusive.
Elle aims to expand nationally, stressing the need for robust aftercare. ‘No one should be discharged from hospital into nothing. People deserve meaningful aftercare… more needs to be done to protect people when they are at their most vulnerable.’
‘I am much stronger now… I still have bad days, but I feel the best I’ve felt in a long time. However, I am angry because I nearly died, and my little boy nearly lost his mum because I fell through the cracks.’
Need Support?
For emotional support, contact Samaritans on 116 123 (24/7), email jo@samaritans.org, or visit their website. HOPELINE247 offers 24/7 help: call 0800 068 4141, text 88247, or email pat@papyrus-uk.org.
