A mother describes how her son’s life has changed forever following sexual abuse by a friend. Data from health trusts in Northern Ireland shows 231 young people referred for harmful sexualized behaviors over nearly two years. These behaviors include developmentally inappropriate actions that harm or abuse others, often termed peer-on-peer abuse.
Devastating Family Impact
The mother explains the ordeal has caused extreme trauma and stress for her son, with a profound effect on the entire family. “He feels like his life is changed forever and he’ll never be the same again,” she states. Both parents have sought counseling, anxiety mediation, and sleep aids.
She calls for greater awareness of peer-on-peer abuse. “It’s something that as a parent I never thought to discuss with my children,” she says. “Whenever I talked to them it always revolved around adults being inappropriate; I never thought to warn them against their own friends.”
The family continues to grapple with the shock. “I can’t explain how shocked we were; it’s so hard to accept as a parent. You feel responsible that you weren’t aware of the danger and that you didn’t keep your child safe,” she adds.
Rising Referrals for Harmful Behaviors
Figures from Northern Ireland’s five health trusts indicate 231 referrals in 2024 and 2025 for young people showing harmful sexualized behaviors. Exact numbers of cases involving underage suspects and victims remain unclear due to police data collection methods.
The NSPCC notes a rise in children contacting them about peer-on-peer abuse in recent years. Experts attribute the increase to greater awareness, social media influence, and children’s growing confidence in reporting incidents.
Expert Analysis on Causes and Solutions
Marcella Leonard, an independent social worker, highlights the role of technology. “More recently, increasingly it’s peer behavior using technology, that would be taking imagery and using AI apps to amend it, or coercing a peer to share imagery and sharing it through apps,” she says.
Understanding the root causes is crucial, Leonard emphasizes. These may stem from prior abuse experienced by the child, neurodiversity, learning disabilities, or deliberate intent to harm. “All of us make mistakes as children, and we have to allow children to make mistakes, to learn and to change their behavior,” she notes.
Leonard criticizes current sex education in Northern Ireland as insufficient and urges separating it from religious influences. “If the politicians genuinely had children at heart… we would give them good sex education,” she asserts.
Relationships and Sex Education in Schools
All grant-aided schools in Northern Ireland must implement relationships and sex education (RSE) policies developed with parents and pupils. The Department of Education states significant investments support RSE resources. Programs ensure all young people, regardless of gender or faith, learn to recognize, respond to, and report peer-on-peer abuse.
