In 2012, Cassidy Krug competed in her first and final Olympics. Raised by two diving coaches, Krug was in diapers when she began dreaming of competing.
At 27 years previous, she had a shot on the Olympic bronze medal however landed in seventh place as a substitute. Krug determined to retire, one thing she’d already been contemplating for 3 years. However how do you progress ahead in life when diving is the one factor you’ve ever identified?
Shelf Assistance is a wellness column the place we interview researchers, thinkers and writers about their newest books — all with the purpose of studying the best way to dwell a extra full life.
Krug tried to exchange her ardour for diving with a company profession. However after seven years in promoting and model technique, she felt misplaced and with out the aim and motivation she’d as soon as felt for her sport. Fascinated by the limitless choices of what to do subsequent, Krug wrote “Resurface: A Information to Navigating Life’s Largest Transitions.”
The Occasions spoke with Krug about why we’re so immune to uncertainty and what instruments we are able to use to get snug with change.
This interview has been condensed and edited for readability.
Why do you assume transitions are an necessary a part of life?
Transitions are an necessary a part of life as a result of they’re an inevitable a part of life. An creator named Bruce Feiler estimates that we now have three to 5 “lifequakes” in our lives — main shifts that change our habits, our identities, our communities and our sense of function. These shifts are much more frequent now that it feels just like the tempo of change on the planet is rushing up. The extra we are able to embrace change, slightly than attempt to maintain on to our previous methods, the extra arrange we might be to adapt and transfer ahead.
“Throughout a transition, we frequently want to alter our definition of success,” says Cassidy Krug, creator of “Resurface: A Information to Navigating Life’s Largest Transitions.”
(Natalie Fong)
For this e book, you interviewed folks going by means of all types of life transitions, from altering careers to leaving jail. What did you discover to be common truths about these transitions?
There have been two: that transitions take away our sense of group, and that in a transition, we frequently want to alter our definition of success. Stanley — the person I interviewed who left jail after 20 years — instructed me that when he did, he misplaced the sense of camaraderie he felt whereas there. He additionally realized that he’d beforehand outlined success by having a household and a secure job. When he left jail, he wanted to redefine success to incorporate the influence he’d had on different folks’s lives whereas in jail. Although my expertise was not the identical, I additionally felt an enormous lack of group and the necessity to redefine success whereas leaving diving.
Within the e book, you write that as people, we’re resistant to alter and really feel a necessity for certainty. Why are we so immune to such an inevitable a part of our lives, and the way can we overcome this?
We regularly waver between the necessity for stability and a want for change and progress. Proper now, as a society, our expectations for certainty are ever-increasing. Twenty years in the past, there have been no courting apps that would assess my compatibility with a accomplice and no Yelp evaluations that would predict if I’d like the place I selected to eat dinner. Now with generative AI, there are numerous extra avenues that market a false sense of safety, and I believe these avenues give us much more nervousness on the subject of the inevitable moments once we are unsure. One technique to combat that want for certainty is to place ourselves in troublesome and unsure conditions. The flexibility to dwell in uncertainty is a muscle: The extra we depend on exterior issues to present us a way of certainty, the much less succesful and the extra anxious we really feel once we don’t have these crutches round.
Within the e book, you write {that a} transition by no means ends. What do you imply by that?
I used to think about transitions as starting, center, finish. As an alternative, psychologists use the phrases shifting into, shifting by means of, and shifting out of to explain transitions, acknowledging that they hardly ever yield a clear-cut endpoint. My good friend Nora, whom I write about within the e book, anticipated that after she was in remission from most cancers, she would transfer ahead and thrive. In actuality, she’s in remission, however she has mind fog, fatigue and lingering well being points that can change her life shifting ahead. The damaging and false expectation is that transitions finish. Usually, in actuality, we don’t return to our earlier state, and our transition as a substitute ripples into our future — however that rippling change means ongoing progress and ahead motion.
In Cassidy Krug’s “Resurface: A Information to Navigating Life’s Largest Transitions,” interviewees vary from a most cancers survivor to injured athletes to a person beginning over after 20 years in jail.
(Cassidy Krug)
How can we transfer ahead after leaving one thing necessary to us behind?
Rituals are a good way to honor what we’re abandoning, commemorate the way it formed us and assist incorporate the teachings from it into our evolving identities. Similar to holding a funeral for a misplaced liked one, folks discover inventive methods to honor totally different components of their lives coming to a detailed. One lady I interviewed who struggled with infertility threw herself a menopause celebration full with tampons wrapped in ribbons and girls telling their first interval and menopause tales. [Author] William Bridges mentioned that change is one thing that occurs to us, and transition is how we select to react to that change. I believe there’s a 3rd step to that — how we interpret that transition — and rituals may help us accomplish that in a means that strikes us ahead.
What would you suggest somebody do once they’re paralyzed by the considered an upcoming change?
Firstly, I’d suggest somebody reframe their nervousness by spinning these fears into alternatives. “I’m afraid to go away this job as a result of I don’t know what’s going to occur” can develop into “If I go away, there might be so many alternatives open for me, and I’m going to have my very own again.” Secondly, it’s necessary to start out with one thing small and concrete. The concept of discovering a brand new ardour is paralyzing, however asking your self what you’re inquisitive about and discovering a small step you may take within the route of exploring that curiosity feels way more manageable.
What would you say to somebody who’s undecided in the event that they’re able to make an enormous leap?
An creator named Annie Duke wrote a e book referred to as “Stop” — in it, she writes that by the point a choice seems to be 50/50, it’s most likely higher on your upcoming happiness in the event you transfer on. Now we have a societal bias in direction of grit, and each success story appears to be of somebody who had an concept after which overcame obstacles after which succeeded. Tales overlook to incorporate all of the issues that individual give up earlier than they selected and invested in the suitable path. We don’t give up practically as usually as we should always, so in the event you’re fascinated by quitting one thing, do it.
Now that you simply’ve completed writing your e book, you’re going by means of a interval of transition once more. How do you’re feeling about it this time round?
There’s grief and loss related to all transitions. One thing I’ve to remind myself of with every transition I face is that there might be a interval the place I don’t know what’s subsequent, and that’s regular. Issues aren’t speculated to final without end, and I’ve to remind myself to breathe into the chance that temporariness brings, slightly than the worry. I believe many people are overwhelmed by potentialities — there are numerous issues we might do, however we don’t know which path to take. I’m within the aftermath of a challenge I felt so sure about, and my intuition is to attend for that certainty to hit me once more earlier than taking a step in any route. But when I do this, I’ll be ready without end. What I have to do is ask myself is, “What am I interested by? What’s driving me?” after which make investments time into exploring it — that’s how I’ll determine what my ardour goes to be subsequent.
(Maggie Chiang / For The Occasions)
