This text accommodates spoilers for the primary six episodes of Season 9 of “Love Is Blind.”
“Are you attempting to interrupt up with me?”
“Love Is Blind,” Netflix’s relationship binge-fest, has documented its justifiable share of awkward and weird breakups all through its run. However the one which arrives on the finish of the ninth season’s first batch of episodes, now streaming, is probably probably the most cringeworthy, and a sobering reminder of how the present’s fantasy premise doesn’t at all times conquer the realities of relationship.
The Colorado-set season launched viewers to Patrick Suzuki, a mission supervisor who got here into the experiment open about his insecurities within the relationship circuit as an Asian American man. Throughout the present’s pod phases, during which members get to know one another by having “dates” in a room the place they’re separated by a glowing blue wall, Suzuki made his strongest connections with two girls: Anna Yuan, a hairstylist, and Kacie McIntosh, a hair and make-up artist.
As a lot because the present’s basis is about testing whether or not singles can fall in love based mostly on an emotional connection, curiosity about bodily attributes arises and infrequently get mentioned — and, in some circumstances, turn into viral moments when you occur to say you’re dopplegänger is Megan Fox. Suzuki bonded with Yuan over their shared experiences as Asian Individuals dwelling in Colorado; like him, she revealed that she has principally dated white folks. McIntosh, who’s Mormon, assured Suzuki early on that relationship outdoors her race was not a difficulty along with her or her household.
In the long run, Suzuki proposed to McIntosh (Yuan selected to go away the manufacturing early). Whereas their interplay on the reveal appeared to go effectively, albeit considerably awkward contemplating the whirlwind circumstances, a couple of hours later, Suzuki was summoned by manufacturing to satisfy with McIntosh. What transpired subsequent was McIntosh’s perplexing try at a breakup that was by no means expressly acknowledged; as a substitute she instructed him that she didn’t need to transfer on with filming the following section of the experiment, which was a visit to Baja as a pair. “They’re [producers] asking me if it’s something to do with what you appear like,” she tells him via tears whereas caressing his head. “I‘m identical to, ‘No.’” It was a one-sided acutely aware uncoupling made all of the extra complicated by the smattering of kisses and, later, a goodbye straddle — leaving Suzuki alone feeling hopeful, regardless of asking McIntosh a number of occasions in the event that they have been breaking apart.
Over a video name, Suzuki mentioned his breakup expertise, how relationship within the “Love Is Blind” experiment compares to actual life and whether or not one thing good got here from his time on the present.
This dialog has been edited for size and readability.
Clockwise from top left: Anna Yuan, Kacie McIntosh and Patrick Suzuki in Season 9 of “Love Is Blind.” (Netflix)
How would you describe what your “Love Is Blind” experience was like?
This experience was transformative. I didn’t know what I was getting into, exactly, when I got there. I’m just really glad that I did it and glad that things happened the way they did because it made me a lot stronger man, I think, and made me break free from a lot of things that I was dealing with and learn a lot about myself. Overall, 10 out of 10, A-plus experience.
You were very open from the start about your insecurities as an Asian American man on the dating circuit. How did that lead you to apply for “Love is Blind”? How does finding love on the show compare to your experience in real life?
For me, [applying] was extra like a dare. I used to be speaking to my cousin — my cousin’s an Asian man in Colorado as effectively — and we each grew up as the one Asian children at school, so we’ve an identical understanding of the place we’re at. He was identical to, “Dude, I believe that you’d be illustration on the present.” And I used to be like, “Dude, I don’t even watch actuality TV. I don’t actually need need to do it.” He’s like, “No, no, I believe you must strive.” Clearly, we have been already speaking in regards to the Asian masculinity factor; we already take a look at our relationship apps and the way we’re not getting a lot traction. That’s the place it began. We tried, we utilized. I received onto the present after which received to train the insecurities and train the arrogance and see the place it was gonna go.
In actual life — in my surroundings, particularly — I don’t suppose I might have gotten any of these dates; we’re speaking out of all these women, I might by no means have gotten a single date with any of these women on relationship apps or in particular person. Possibly one or two, who is aware of. Having the ability to go into “Love Is Blind,” and conceal the whole lot and it simply be myself, my persona and my confidence, and see relationships develop and transpire — actually, it was magical. You’d should be there, but it surely was only a magical, transcending second. Day after day, it was like, “Rattling, that is fairly dope.”
You talked about not being a actuality TV watcher, however I assume you had some consciousness of “Love Is Blind.” Did you binge it earlier than you utilized or earlier than you went into the pods?
I’d seen it. My sister watched it the primary season. And I used to be like, “OK, that’s bizarre.” After a couple of seasons, I used to be like, that’s type of cool, however nonetheless type of bizarre. Then it was like, “Dang, they’re coming to Denver. Dang, OK, let’s strive. Dang, now I’m right here.” I’m beginning to see the wonder behind it and the way a lot freedom they’re giving me to only be myself and permitting women to be themselves they usually’re all from Denver, and it sucks that I needed to do it like that as a result of it’s on such a [global] stage and platform. I want I may simply run that experiment regionally. However typically you gotta do it.
Clearly, it’s onerous to glean the timetable when the expertise is edited down, but it surely appeared such as you revealed your race fairly early on and it wasn’t precisely by selection. Did you go in anticipating to not deal with it in any respect? And speak about that second of hesitation when the subject was introduced up within the pods.
The best way I used to be feeling was, I used to be gonna maintain it to the very finish. In my head, I assumed it was a sport. At first, I used to be like, “OK, that is type of humorous, type of cool.” However then it received actually severe, actually quick halfway via. I’m beginning to catch emotions. These women are beginning to catch emotions. I used to be like, if you may make it out the pods, and you may make it via all these issues, and also you get married, that is going to be a fairly robust bond. This may be one thing you may share endlessly. At that time, I used to be like, I’ve to offer them the whole lot and clarify to them my background, ethnicity, the whole lot, simply to be absolutely weak. I don’t suppose it might have been truthful to them to not know. How are you going to say sure to someone if you’re about to enter my world? My mother is Cambodian, and she or he’s wonderful. I really like her to dying. She’s the very best prepare dinner ever. However there’s loads of cultural issues it’s important to do right here. And there’s loads of cultural stigmas that she seems to be at on the subject of feminine and male gender roles. I’ve to clarify all these issues earlier than I ask somebody to marry me. That’s how I felt about it.
We’re talking earlier than the season has dropped. Have you ever had an opportunity to look at any of the season but?
I haven’t seen any of it.
“Love Is Blind” members Patrick Suzuki and Kacie McIntosh, after their engagement, lastly meet through the reveal portion of the truth relationship experiment. (Netflix)
With that in thoughts, how do you look again in your expertise with each Kacie and Anna? Kacie was fast to offer her assurance that being an interracial couple wasn’t a difficulty. And Anna, such as you, stated she’s sometimes had white companions.
We actually jibed, me and Kacie, and me and Anna. We have been actually constructing a connection. I believe she [Kacie] was being trustworthy and truthful with the whole lot that she instructed me, I simply don’t suppose the experiment labored out for her. She wasn’t deceptive. We have been cool, we have been kicking it. She simply didn’t need to do it anymore. It’s what it’s.
You plan, Kacie accepts. You meet. She’s affectionate in that encounter. A few hours later, you get referred to as again to have a dialog along with her as a result of she needs to finish it. Inform me what was going via your thoughts as this all transpired.
My guard went up just a little bit once I heard that she needed to have a dialog as a result of I assumed the reveal went fairly effectively. I felt good about it. I believe we each instructed one another we liked one another. I used to be stepping into and simply needed to listen to what she needed to inform me. I didn’t actually know what she was going to inform me.
She’s attempting to be mild and is clearly involved in regards to the optics, but it surely makes it more durable so that you can perceive what really is occurring. You’re pondering she simply doesn’t need to do the present, however she needs to finish the connection. It was an ungainly and complicated change, and that’s from a viewer’s perspective. How did it really feel to you?
One thousand p.c, I used to be so confused. [laughs] I used to be like, with [a] flower: Does she love me? Does she love me not? However in hyper-speed mode. I didn’t know. I’m simply attempting to determine what she’s attempting to inform me the entire time. I simply didn’t perceive what she was attempting to inform me. However wanting again on it, it’s like, “Oh, she was simply attempting to inform me she didn’t need to do it anymore.” Within the warmth of the second, your feelings are working excessive; I nonetheless absolutely trusted her.
She was straddling you at one level. I couldn’t make sense of what was taking place.
I used to be pondering the identical factor.
Shortly after their in-person assembly, “Love Is Blind” participant Kacie McIntosh tells her match Patrick Suzuki that she doesn’t need to transfer ahead with the present or their relationship.
(Netflix)
Each you and Anna acknowledge that you just had solely dated or principally dated white folks earlier than this. What has this expertise illuminated for you about any potential internalized prejudice, or how has it been a instructing second?
Going via the expertise has made me actually take into consideration that. I’m born and raised in Colorado; she [Anna] grew up in Colorado. It wasn’t as a result of we have been selecting up to now Caucasian folks. It was as a result of that’s our surroundings. You suppose it via loads and people inner prejudices are simply … if you suppose it via, what actually issues? What’s actually vital to you? Your values, their character, do they deal with you effectively. That’s what I began to understand is far more vital than anything. It was a very cool expertise, breaking free from all that.
Anna determined to go away the experiment simply because it appeared such as you have been able to make your choice. I do know it’s a hypothetical at this level, however do you suppose you’d have adopted via with proposing to Anna?
Oh, yeah. We have been buzzing. We have been catching hearth, however then she bounced. That might’ve been cool. I might have undoubtedly proposed to her.
Are you able to clarify to me, then, the choice to suggest to Kacie? When the strongest connection is now not an possibility, why is there the impulse to proceed as a substitute of bowing out?
For me, my insecurities have been simply taking up. I used to be simply feeling like, “Hey, I need to see if she’s drawn to me. I need to see if that is the actual deal.” I’m going into this experiment as a result of I’m not getting loads of dates in actual life. Now, I’m starting to showcase my persona, starting to construct emotions with somebody, and I need to see if — my curiosity, mainly, received the very best of me. I needed to see, I needed to see. It was that deep, that far. She says she’s into it, I’m having fun with my time along with her. Let’s see if this could really work. And it didn’t work.
Do you’re feeling such as you ever received the closure you wanted from how that turned out? Did you get to totally specific what that have was like so that you can Kacie?
I believe you’d have to search out out. However I might say that, no matter any dialog after that, having the ability to go to the reveal with someone — that made me actually, actually develop. That made me actually [have a] breakthrough, I believe, and actually perceive it’s really not about race. It’s really extra about confidence. Together with her leaving, that opened up actually deep, unhealed wounds for me. So, I credit score her and credit score her participation as a result of I don’t suppose it might make me who I’m right this moment with out her, simply from an emotional perspective. I didn’t actually need closure in some unspecified time in the future. You don’t actually need it after you piece it collectively in your thoughts that she simply didn’t need to be there.
Earlier than I allow you to go, there’s been loads of consideration, typically criticism, of the working situations on “Love Is Blind.” How was your expertise? Are there any adjustments you suppose producers ought to make to the present?
I didn’t have a foul time. The meals was good. They’ve a personal chef or one thing like that. Ten out of 10, thumbs-up.
Would you do it once more?
Ohhh, no! I’m sorry, one time’s sufficient. I received double heartbreaks. It will be fairly rattling brutal. I’m 32 now. I gotta calm down. I gotta have some children and sit back.
