On Valentine’s morning last year, Naomi Aldwyn-Allsworth woke up next to her partner Matt, enjoyed bubbly breakfast with novelty chocolates in bed, then headed back to her London home to spend the day with her son—and her other partner, Christopher.
As a survival and outdoor expedition specialist, the 30-year-old views a traditional desk job, marriage, and retirement at pension age as her worst nightmare. Preparing for a South Pole expedition with training in Norway’s minus-30-degree conditions, Naomi explains how she navigates motherhood alongside her polyamorous relationships.
Embracing Non-Monogamy
Non-monogamy served as the primary relationship model until a few thousand years ago, making its modern perception as radical seem surreal to Naomi. Her polyamory journey started at age 20 when she began dating childhood friend Christopher from Pembrokeshire, where they attended school together since age 11.
They share a seven-year-old son. Naomi quickly realized Christopher was marriage material, but felt too young for a final commitment. They crafted their own rules: Christopher remains monogamous due to his religious background, while Naomi, attracted to both men and women, began dating others a year after their son’s birth.
“He loved me deeply and didn’t want me to close off who I was,” Naomi says. “And I love him for that.” She pursues meaningful relationships, not casual flings, and has dated men, women, and couples—once managing four partners simultaneously.
Maintaining Open Communication
Openness defines her dynamic. Naomi confirms new connections with partners first. “That first moment of becoming intimate with someone is really important. Everyone should be aware that it’s happening,” she states.
Frequent international travel for work, including appearances on Channel 4’s Alone and collaborations with Bear Grylls, demands ruthless organization. She uses a location-sharing app visible to partners and colleagues.
Prioritizing Her Son
Her son tops the list. “Managing a relationship is difficult for the average person with a normal job. Then you add my life into the mix… it is difficult,” Naomi admits. “My son will always come first, and my career—which is very demanding—is really important to me too.”
Post-trip, she focuses on family time. Partners must understand this priority. Holidays pose challenges: new relationships spark excitement, but family traditions pull her elsewhere, requiring restraint.
Raising a child in a polyamorous network brings hurdles. “At the moment it’s ok. He’s too young to understand every aspect of my relationship, and there’s no need for him to,” she explains. Boundaries protect privacy.
Navigating Tensions and Growth
Polyamory sparks arguments and discomfort, but fosters care, openness, and transparency. “You end up having conversations that many monogamous couples wouldn’t dare to enter into,” Naomi notes.
Initial reactions from friends and family focused on her son’s well-being, but witnessing her partners’ commitment eased concerns. A past rape at age 15 fuels her reluctance to limit herself: “I wanted to show myself that I was okay and that I could love and be intimate with people while still feeling safe.”
Insights from Her Documentary
Naomi shares her experiences in the documentary Love Without Limits: Polyamory and Me, tracking her relationships with Christopher, Matt (who relocated from America), and married couple Mollie and Connor.
Christopher acknowledges logistical nightmares: “It’s easier to say there are different partners and there’s more love… The reality is, logistically it can be horrific.” New partners meet him multiple times before encountering their son Barnaby.
“With us, you can see that a new partner gives Naomi something very different to what I can give her,” he says. “The fact we can go through that and still be happy for each other is beautiful.”
Some relationships evolved: romantic ties with Christopher turned platonic for co-parenting in a larger home; she and Matt parted amid time strains, with Naomi exploring new connections. “Nothing terrible happened… It just shifted and adjusted,” she insists.
New dates add temporary tension, but they navigate it. Barnaby thrives in a supportive home; his school supports their setup. “We focus on love, honesty and family,” Naomi says, emphasizing diverse family structures mean more love.
“Every partner I’m with brings a different kind of energy. For me, it’s not about one person ticking every box. That’s an impossible pressure… But if you spread that load a little bit, I think that’s really healthy.”
Love Without Limits: Polyamory and Me (Cariad Heb Ffiniau: Poliamoir a Fi) airs on 24 March at 9pm on S4C and iPlayer.
