Dame Joanna Lumley discusses maintaining ‘separate lives’ with her husband, conductor Stephen Barlow, as they approach their 40th wedding anniversary.
Romantic Beginnings
The couple first met in the 1970s at a family friend’s wedding. Stephen was in a tremendous rage because half the music he was supposed to play had not arrived. Joanna describes the encounter as a colossal shock and completely memorable. On the way to a production in the Lake District, Stephen proposed marriage. They wed in 1986 in Fort William, Scottish Highlands.
Secret to a Lasting Marriage
Joanna credits their long union to leading independent lives. She travels for filming and projects, while he focuses on operas and conducting. Essential qualities include deep respect for one’s chosen companion, she emphasizes.
“I go off on trips and I do stuff and film. He goes off and does operas and things. But I think one of the first things you’ve got to have for whoever you marry is respect. You’ve got to think the world of them.”
Joanna, mother to 57-year-old son Jamie from a previous relationship with photographer Michael Claydon, shares a home in south London with Stephen. Their garden features a dedicated music room. A music enthusiast since marrying the pianist, she admits starting as an amateur. She frequently poses questions to him about music, captivated by it, though she calls herself a novice. Joanna jokes about pestering him with queries while bathing at night as he reads nearby.
Approaching Milestone Birthday
Turning 80 next month, Joanna plans a casual supper with friends. Reflecting on time’s passage, she notes limited years remain and vows not to waste any on this beautiful planet.
“My time must be coming quite soon, and I don’t want to have wasted a minute of being on this beautiful planet.”
She finds the fuss over 80 surprising, having felt that age for years already. No dramatic change awaits; she intends to work on her birthday, grateful for the attention.
“It’s extraordinary, isn’t it? I’ve been saying I’m 80 for the last two or three years because I thought I was, but I wasn’t. People are making a big hoo-ha about this 80, as if I’m somehow going to be different, as if some huge precipice is reached. I’ll be working on my birthday. I’m thrilled and I’m touched that people have remembered and think about it more than I do.”
Recent Home Intrusion
Near her £2.5 million London residence, masked thieves recently targeted Joanna’s car. Neighbour Emma Duncan awoke to the commotion: men on motorbikes surrounded the vehicle, one in the driver’s seat shouting he could not start it. The boot sustained damage. Joanna emerged in her dressing gown, prompting the gang to flee.
Illustrious Career
Joanna launched as a model in the 1960s, later starring in Coronation Street and The Satanic Rites of Dracula. Breakthrough roles included Purdey in The New Avengers and parts in Sapphire & Steel. From 1992, she portrayed Patsy Stone in Absolutely Fabulous alongside Jennifer Saunders, reprising it in the 2016 film. Today, she co-hosts the podcast Joanna and the Maestro with her husband.
